List of Viz comic strips
Following is a list of recurring or notable one-off strips from the British adult spoof comic magazine Viz:
A - E
- Acker Bilk – (See Jimmy Hill).
- Aldridge Pryor – a pathological liar whose lies are ludicrous, such as The Nolan Sisters living in his fridge. Pryor is instantly recognizable for his retro dress sense, usually a tartan jacket with a sheepskin collar and a pair of uncomfortable-looking platform shoes.
- Alexander Graham Bell-End – a crazy inventor who continually rubs his penis on things and then tricks his assistant into touching them with his hands or mouth, at which point Alexander laughs uproariously whilst exclaiming "I TOTALLY rubbed my bell end on that!"
- Anna Reksik – a model who repeatedly vomits in order to keep her thin shape. She has attracted controversy because some people have seen her as ridiculing eating disorders, cocaine addiction and media pressure on women to be thin.
- 'Afternoon tea with Mr Kipplin a one of strip about MR Kipplin inviting someone over for tea but because he ate so much grub he eventually vomits in the Toilet
- Badly Drawn Man – a poorly drawn character.
- Badly Overdrawn Boy – a parody of the pop singer Badly Drawn Boy, who is seen busking outside his local bank because he's broke.
- Balsa Boy – a take on Disney's Pinocchio, in which a lonely old pensioner makes a 'son' from balsa wood. The strip ends with the old man's being sent to a mental institution after burning down the house while trying to dry off Balsa Boy in front of the fire, but by the last frame he is busy working on making another "boy" out of scones.
- Barney Brimstone's Biscuit Tin Circus
- Barry the Cat - a one-off parody of The Beano's acrobatic crimefighter Billy the Cat. Unlike his Beano equivalent, Barry is incompetent, hopelessly uncoordinated, and is immediately recognised despite his "cat-suit" disguise. The final panel shows him in hospital, suffering from multiple injuries, being told that he has acted "very foolishly".
- Bart Conrad – a store detective who takes his job far too seriously.
- Baxter Basics – an extremely amoral and sexually deviant Conservative MP who first appeared at around the same time as John Major's Back to Basics campaign, and a transparent statement on the hypocrisy of politicians.
- Bertie Blunt (His Parrot's A Cunt) – a boy who owns an extremely violent, foul mouthed parrot that insults everyone and encourages him to commit suicide. When the parrot kills Bertie's grandmother, who leaves them all her money, Bertie fights back by spending his inheritance on a microwave oven which he then uses to cook the parrot alive. Chris Donald, creator of Viz, has said that in the early days of the magazine he would not permit the "c word" to be used, until an outside artist (Sean Agnew) sent him this strip which he found to be so good he decided to use it anyway.
- Biffa Bacon – (initially The Bacons); a boy and his Geordie family, all of whom are violent psychopaths. This was very much a parody of The Dandy's Bully Beef and Chips cartoon strip, inspired by an incident on a train witnessed by Chris Donald. Two boys began squabbling, and instead of restraining his son, the heavily-tattooed father of one boy whispered "Go on, son, I'm right behind you."
- Big Vern – a man who believes he's an East End gangster and is convinced the most ordinary everyday activity (a trip to the supermarket, say) is in fact a major criminal "job". Virtually every episode ends with his taking his own life or someone else's for the most trivial of reasons—no bastard copper's gonna take me alive!" "Get dahn, Ernie, he's going for his piece!" usually with a graphic depiction of him shooting himself in the head with a sawn-off shotgun. Vern's second name is Dakin, a reference to the notably violent 1971 British crime thriller Villain, whose anti-hero (played by Richard Burton) is named Vic Dakin.
- Billy Bottom – a literal toilet humour strip, based around a man and his attempts to defecate whilst various factors and circumstances conspire to prevent him from doing so. The first strip carried a spoof certificate of the type given to films by the BBFC, classifying the strip as 'puerile'.
- Billy Britain – a right-wing ultra-nationalist resembling Enoch Powell who appeared in two very early strips. Chris Donald considers him an early prototype of Major Misunderstanding. He also made a one-off reappearance in the September 2002 issue satirising the issue of asylum seekers, where after he spends the strip making several futile attempts to round up illegal immigrants the local authorities turn his home into a detention centre for refugees.
- Billy the Fish – half man, half fish, he is a star footballer despite being drawn with no legs (he does apparently own a pair of football boots, but it is not clear why). He is a satire on, or homage to, the popular football comics of the 1960s and 1970s—Roy of the Rovers and also satirises current football incidents. Starred in a spinoff cartoon, voiced by Harry Enfield. According to Viz cartoonist Graham Drury, "half the readers thought [the strip] was shit, and the other half thought it was really shit."
- Billy No-Mates – a miserable, antisocial teenage boy who spends most of his time alone in his dark room playing video games. If anyone disturbs him he becomes extremely irritated. He also has an obsession with masturbating, collecting large amounts of pornographic magazines and calling sex hotlines.
- Billy Quiz – a man who constantly acts like a gameshow host in everyday situations.
- Black Bag – "The faithful border bin liner". A black bin liner which lives the exciting life of a sheepdog; a parody of The Dandy's Black Bob and the anthropomorphism of animals.
- The Bottom Inspectors – based on the ticket inspectors of the Newcastle Metro system (Chris Donald in a Picture of Tyneside, BBC 4, June 2005). The Bottom Inspectors were also influenced by a single editorial comment made by John Brown, the original publisher of Viz Comic: "The only editorial comment I ever made," explains Brown, "was in the early days, when I told Chris that I thought one issue was particularly 'bottomy'. He didn't say much at the time, but The Bottom Inspectors appeared for the first time in the next issue." The Guardian The OBI is in that sense a light-hearted sardonic embodiment of editorial interference with independent creativity.
- Boy Scouse – gang of delinquent schoolboys from Liverpool who earn Boy Scout badges for mugging pensioners, spraying graffiti and other such antisocial activities. MP Louise Ellman complained that it set a bad example and petitioned to have it banned.
- Brown Bottle – a superhero who gets blotto on Newcastle Brown Ale to induce his "powers". He is of course totally useless. The character is based on a musician friend of Chris Donald's, one Davey Graham, who made a similar transformation under the influence of 'dog' (as Newcastle Brown Ale is known locally).
- Biscuits Alive! – some biscuits that mysteriously come to life to help their boy owner out of some trivial problem.
- Busted – who, until they disbanded in 2005, occasionally appeared in strips (as well as spoof interviews and other features in the magazine) portraying them as pyromaniacs/arsonists who would set anything on fire "for a laugh". James Bourne would always be referred to by the wrong name, making fun of his status as the "least famous" of the group.
- Buster Gonad and his Unfeasibly Large Testicles – a boy who somehow manages to always solve people's problems with his ridiculously large testicles.
- Ben and the SpaceWalrus a one of strip centered on a fat kid named Ben who finds a SpaceWalrus and eats his Dog Bunny
- Captain Morgan and his Hammond Organ – a pirate who sails round the Caribbean inviting people to sing along with him as he plays a Hammond organ. His character was cut when legal action was threatened over the copyright of some of the songs; according to creator Chris Donald in his book, he did not think that making the character sing royalty-free hymns or nursery rhymes would have quite the same comedic effect.
- Captain Oats – a one-off strip lampooning the real Antarctic explorer Captain Lawrence Oates. An explorer obsessed with pornography and masturbation, he is depicted skiing across the icy wastes, dragging a wardrobe upon which is hidden his stash of pornographic magazines. However, his efforts to masturbate are continually frustrated by the presence of his companions.
- Colin the Amiable crocodile strips centered on a small crocodile named Colin in one strip he was shot by a birdwatcher because he said hello to the man the character also appeared later on front covers of other mags such as in the he appears with Skinhead who tells the people to buy the comic or he shoots the croc!
- Christ on a Bender – a strip which depicts Jesus as a family man who keeps trying to escape the house to get "crucified" with his friends but is thwarted at every turn by his wife forcing him to stay home with her and look after their children.
- The Critics – pretentious and shallow high-culture critics who lampoon the perceived elitism of the "chattering classes".
- Cockney Wanker – a swaggering, bigoted Londoner who speaks in rhyming slang. The character is loosely based on actor Mike Reid and broadcaster Danny Baker.
- Cop Her Knickers – an elderly woman's dealings with the gang of policemen who are constantly, and inexplicably, trying to steal her underwear.
- Copper Kettle - quoted as 'The PC who loves his PG' (PG meaning tea brand PG Tips), the strip follows the life of the policeman and his futile attempts to obtain some tea—his favourite beverage—while on his beat.
- Crap Jokes – a diverse range of verbal and visual puns or one-liners, usually deliberately corny or old-fashioned. The best known of the Crap Jokes are seemingly endless "Doctor, Doctor" gags, with the reader's sympathy drawn to the endlessly hapless straightman Doctor.
- Danny's District Council – a one-off story parodying General Jumbo of The Beano, in which a young boy commands his own electronic radio-controlled district council. The tiny robotic council workers are all lazy, corrupt and incompetent and eventually switch their allegiance to the villains. The comic occasionally features other parodies of General Jumbo, including "Jimbo Jumbo's Robo Jobos" and "Oliver's Army".
- Darren Dice - a young man who is obsessed with gambling. Sadly, he often chooses to gamble with the wrong crowd. The character is allegedly based on, and bears a remarkable resemblance to, retired Scottish footballer Darren Jackson. Jackson spent a couple of seasons at Newcastle United in the late 1980s and became a familiar face in bookmakers' shops in the city.
- D.C. Thompson The Humourless Scottish Git – created in retaliation after D. C. Thomson & Co. Ltd threatened legal action over a variety of Viz spoofs based on characters from The Beano and The Dandy, including Biffa Bacon, Black Bag, "Roger the Lodger", "Wanker Watson", "Arsehole Kate" and many more. The title character was portrayed as a miserly Scotsman who goes about looking for breaches of copyright he can report, such as threatening to sue a woman who calls her son Dennis a "menace" in his earshot, and demanding that a pet shop owner removes an advertisement for "Three Bears for the Price of One" from the shop window. Not to be outdone, The Dandy responded by resurrecting an old strip The Jocks and the Geordies—representing the Scottish-based DC Thomson and Newcastle-upon-Tyne-based Viz. In the strip, the rival gangs of schoolboys are asked to produce a comic. The Jocks comic is the best, of course, but the underhand Geordies decide to copy them. Viz responded in kind by parodying Korky the Cat as "Korky the Twat" in the next issue.
- Desert Island Desk – a dialogue-free strip about an office desk which has been marooned on a desert island; title refers to Desert Island Discs and the Topper comic story Desert Island Dick.
- Desert Island Teacher – a teacher stranded on a windswept rock. He has decided that "once a teacher, always a teacher", and inflicts monotonous lectures on the seagulls and molluscs.
- Desperately Unfunny Dan – parody of barrel-chested Desperate Dan who tries too hard to impress people with his superhuman feats of strength.
- Doctor Poo – a spoof of Doctor Who depicting the title character unable to find a toilet in the whole of space-time.
- Doctor Sex – "He has the power of all sex."
- Driving Mr Beckham – a spoof of Beezer and (later) Beano comic strip "The Numskulls" in which we see the inner thought processes - or lack thereof - of David Beckham.
- Drunken Bakers – two alcoholic bakers, who, because of their affliction, hardly ever manage to bake anything.
- Eight Ace – an alcoholic who drinks "Ace" beer (eight cans for £1.49) and struggles to stay on the right side of his wife and many children as a consequence. Many of the strips involve Ace being entrusted with or somehow managing to acquire exactly £1.49 which he inevitably uses to buy "Eight Ace". His real name has been mentioned as 'Octavius Federidge Tinsworthy Ace', the 'Federidge' in his name being derived from the now-defunct Federation Brewery which brewed 'Ace' lager.
- Elton John's... – a series of strips have the pop star portrayed as a petty scamster despite his enormous wealth, including Baccy Run, Dole Fiddle, Hooky Videos, Electrical Goods Scam, Bandit Beater, Lottery Syndicate Diddle (consisting of himself, Bono, Phil Collins and Paul McCartney), Roofing Racket, Marked Note Con, Window Cleaning Scam and Compen Con. At the end of each strip he is normally shown to have been beaten at his own game by other celebrities, mostly his "enemies", i.e. David Bowie, The Bee Gees, Rod Stewart or "the surviving members of Queen".
- Eminemis The Menace – starred in a one-off strip, a cross between Eminem and Dennis the Menace.
- Eric Daft – (His IQ is less than 2) – An early Terry Fuckwitt prototype.
F - J
- Farmer Palmer – a paranoid farmer whose catch phrase is "Get orf moi laaaand!"
- Father McFiddly – "he Loves Diddling Kiddies" about the wacky antics of a priest trying to peek up the altar-boys' cassocks, etc. A skit on the Catholic sex abuse cases scandal.
- The Fat Slags – two enormous and tarty women living in Mansfield (San and Tray) with huge appetites for both sex and food—starred in a spinoff cartoon and a live-action movie.
- Fat Sod – a one-off greedy character who steals a large pie from the windowsill of one Farmer Palmer (possibly the same character described above, despite physical dissimilarity), only to be ruthlessly shot dead and baked in a pie by Palmer, who hides inside the false pie initially stolen to do so.
- Father Christmas – a man so obsessed with Christmas he believes that it is the festive season in the middle of August.
- Fatty and Skinny, Susannah and Trinny – A strip portraying Susannah Constantine and Trinny Woodall as school bullies who ridicule classmates for their unfashionable clothes, only to end each cartoon forced to wear a horrendously uncomfortable outfit for detention or gym class. This strip prompted legal action from Woodall and Constantine themselves.
- Felix and his Amazing Underpants – a boy with underpants which he believes have amazing powers. They are in fact completely ordinary, albeit being a bizarrely large size.
- Ferdinand the Foodie – self-proclaimed culinary expert and restaurant critic.
- Finbarr Saunders and his double entendres – a boy with a good ear for homophones. The strip almost always revolves around his liaisons with his neighbour, Mr Gimlet, whose manner of speech is always interpreted by Finbarr as graphically sexual in nature (in fact, it is deliberately scripted this way), usually when Gimlet is reminiscing about everyday situations with Saunder's mother. However, at the end of each strip, Mr Gimlet and Finbarr's mother invariably do end up having sex and make blatantly obvious verbal references to their doing so, but Finbarr interprets these as being nothing untoward. Finbarr's creator, Simon Thorp, described the character as a cross between a small boy and Sid Boggle (Sid James) from Carry On Camping.
- Friar Fuck – a monk with Tourette syndrome.
- Fru T. Bunn – a "Master Baker" who makes his own sex dolls out of gingerbread and then attempts to have sex with them.
- George Best is a Cinema Pest – a one-off strip featuring the late George Best prematurely disclosing the final twists of notable movies such as The Sixth Sense and The Usual Suspects to incensed cinema goers.
- George Bestial – a George Best lookalike that, as his name implies, enjoys committing bestiality.
- Gilbert Ratchet – a boy who can invent anything, usually to solve people's bizarre "problems" as he comes across them. However, his inventions invariably cause far more problems of their own. Usually the entire premise of the strip turns out to be a highly contrived misunderstanding. Gilbert's creator, Davey Jones, describes the character as "like (the Dandy's) Screwy Driver—only with more genital mutilation of vicars".
- Goldfish Boy – a schoolboy who lives in a goldfish bowl.
- Grassy Knollington – schoolboy conspiracy theorist.
- Hawker Siddeley Harriet – a one-off story about a girl who can hover in mid air (in the manner of the Hawker Siddeley Harrier aircraft) thanks to her jet-powered vagina.
- Helpful Herbert A boy whose good deeds always land him in big trouble.
- Hector the collector and his metal detector strips about a boy named Hector who finds big & small things with his metal detector in one strip he found a key that according to a passing rich man opened up a key to a chest with gold inside and gave him £500 the character later returned in the 3oth edition comic
- Hugh Phemism is unable to communicate in anything other than circumlocutory language, leading to predictable misunderstandings..
- Ivan Jelical – an evangelistic fundamentalist Christian, whose proselytising is spectacularly unsuccessful.
- Ivor the Skiver – his dad's a bad driver.
- Jack Black – a young amateur detective who gets people arrested for minor technical transgressions. The first strip was apparently 'traced by Chris Donald', according to fellow Viz cartoonist Davey Jones, 'out of an old copy of Whizzer and Chips'. As the strip has progressed, Jack has been increasingly portrayed as a racist and a xenophobe among other major faults.
- Jellyhead – The girl with no brain. A one off superhero parody about a girl born with lime jelly instead of a brain. Jellyhead spends her entire time in this story in a catatonic state, yet still manages to foil an armed robbery. The one-off strip was the work of Charlie Higson.
- Jimmy Hill – The bespectacled and bearded television presenter.
- Joe Robinson Crusoe - a thinly disguised parody of flamboyant Newcastle pub and nightclub operator Joe Robertson.
- Johnny Fartpants – a boy afflicted with extreme flatulence. Tagline: There's always a commotion in his trousers.
- Jump Jet Fanny and her Hawker-Siddeley Twat – A woman who can perform VTOL (vertical take-off and landing) with her vagina.
K - O
- Kewl Chix – shallow, vacuous and materialistic teenage girls who only care about their social life.
- The Lager Lads – somewhat like the Real Ale Twats, these are a group of clean cut, upstanding beer aficionados who like lager more than anything. Inevitably, barmen tell them to "piss off" or urinate in their beer. The Lads never seem to notice there's anything wrong with their drinks after this happens, both highlighting the weak flavour of lager compared to other beer and showing the Lads up to be idiots. The strips were inspired by a series of advertisements for McEwan's lager, in which - Chris Donald noted - a group of smiling, happy young men drink copious amounts of lager but never "got pissed or glassed anybody".
- Lazy Disinterested 16 Year-Old Photo Shop Girl – a teenage girl who works in a local photo supply shop. She has a very unenthusiastic attitude, and is unhelpful to her customers; preferring to chew lots of bubblegum and text on her mobile phone for hours on end. Similar strips have the 'Lazy Disinterested 16 Year-Old' working in a shoe shop and a chip shop - the latter seeing her rather talk to a friend (possibly her boyfriend) than serve anyone, and being extremely slow and deliberately disinterested when she does serve someone. Her equally unhelpful counterparts are sometimes featured, including "Miserable Butch Bus Driver Lady" and "35 - Year - Old Obsessive War Workshop Assistant" (An older man so obsessed with role-playing games that when a boy tries to buy two sets of figures from different sets, he will only sell one or the other, but not both as they 'are from different scenarios').
- Laurie Driver – the schizophrenic long - distance driver of an articulated lorry, who murders female hitchhikers and dumps their bodies by the roadside.
- Lenny Left – a one-off strip featuring a 'radical' left-wing alternative comedian whose hackneyed 'street theatre' routines about Thatcherism arouse complete disinterest from the public. Lenny eventually sells out, and the last frame of the strip shows him doing a racist and homophobic stand-up routine in a Conservative club.
- Little Big Daddy – Schoolboy who seems to think he is 1970s wrestler Big Daddy.
- Little Plumber – Spoof of Beano comic strip Little Plum, in which the American Indian is a jobbing plumber.
- Lord Shite and Nanny No-Dumps – a one-off strip about an aristocrat who wishes to defecate "like common people" and his former nanny who is determined to stop him.
- Luvvie Darling – a melodramatic and self-important thespian who is always out of work, principally because he is completely talentless. Presents himself as an A-list actor but is only offered very minor (and ultimately humiliating) roles.
- Major Misunderstanding – an elderly, immaculately dressed reactionary who misunderstands everybody he meets, and consequently bewilders them with his right-wing rants.
- Maxwell Straker – Record Breaker. Maxwell spends most strips making increasingly futile attempts to appear in the Guinness World Records, only to end up in a bad situation where he inadvertently gets his wish (such as crashing his car while trying to break the land speed record, and falling into the world's longest coma.) He does eventually get into the Guinness Book of World Records, but only as "the world's daftest cunt".
- Meddlesome Ratbag – a series of strips featuring a pinch-faced, headscarf-wearing middle-aged woman (Mrs Ratbag). She takes great delight in delivering nagging lectures to complete strangers about minor breaches of social etiquette, and will go to extreme lengths to engineer a situation where she can make such a complaint. One strip began with her seeing a TV news item about the Rio de Janeiro carnival, whereupon she immediately flew to that city and booked a hotel room overlooking the carnival procession, purely in order to complain about the noise. Another strip was set during a minute's silence for a "some terrible tragedy or other" and saw her desperately (and unsuccessfully) trying to find someone who was breaking the silence, in order to remonstrate with them. She finally achieved her aim by breaking into a maternity ward and rebuking an exhausted birthing mother for the "disrespect" of failing to silence her newborn baby's cries.
- Mickey's Miniature Grandpa – a senile old man, convinced that he's four inches tall.
- Mickey's Monkey Spunk Moped – a motorised scooter which uses simian semen as fuel.
- Millie Tant – angry feminist who usually ends-up looking hypocritical. Inspired by the late American feminist author Andrea Dworkin.
- The Modern Parents – and their long-suffering children, Tarquin and Guinevere.
- Morris Day: Sexual Pervert. A bespectacled, jumper-wearing middle-aged man who is obsessed with pornography, ignoring his attractive wife who waits for him in their bedroom. Kentish Town estate agents Morris Day changed their name to Day Morris around the time of the first appearance of this character.
- Mr Logic – ("such is my name, therefore one may infer that this strip is in some way about me") a serious young man with no real empathy for other people. He uses highly technical and over-elaborate language rather than straightforward speech. The strip usually ends with Logic becoming the victim of his misunderstandings with others. Mr. Logic was inspired by Chris Donald's own brother, Steve, who was much later diagnosed with Asperger syndrome. Early versions of the character used the monikers "doodle duck dandy" and Hello World before arriving on Mr Logic.
- Mrs Brady the Old Lady – an old woman who spends all her time exaggerating her age and complaining about young people of today and how things were different in her time.
- Miss Maybe and her crazy baby strips about a fat lady called miss maybe who makes suggestions to her baby on wear to go too but the babys usual response it lets fuck a coppa
- Nobby's Piles – a man with incredibly bad hemorrhoids.
- Norbert Colon – an old miser. In one strip, Colon shared top billing with hopeless ventriloquist Boswell Boyce ('he throws his voice') and wound up in a lunatic asylum; in another strip he went on a blind date only to find the dating agency had fixed him up with his own mother ("Oh turds! It's that tightwad son of mine!"), a dead ringer for Norbert only wearing a (clearly labelled) NHS wig.
- Norman the doorman a one off strip about a violent doorman named Norman who works at the cinema
- Norman's Knob– puerile tale of Norman who thinks if he rubs his brass doorknob that he keep in his pocket that magic things will happen to him. Norman rubs his doorknob a lot at inappropriate moments and indeed things do happen for him .....in the form of arrests from irate policemen.
- Nude Motorcycle Girl – a heroic female biker who solves crimes - naked except for a crash helmet, bikini pants and motorcycle boots.
- One Cut Wally – a gents barber who gives all his customers exactly the same haircut even when they asked for something else.
- Only Fools and Norses – a Viking version of the BBC comedy Only Fools and Horses. This idea was submitted by Dave Saunders.
- Outcast of the Pony Ballet School – a parody of the comic strips in the 1970s/1980s style of teenage girl's magazine such as Pony School and Bunty, in which Steve McFadden, for no apparent reason, attends a private school for girls where all his classmates are eleven or twelve years old.
P - S
- The Parkie – An extremely angry park keeper who abuses people that seem like they are breaking park rules, when in fact they are not - he even creates his own rules just so that he can abuse them. Early strips carried satirical introductions like 'totally dodgy cartoons present...' and 'a social comment (why not?)'.
- Pathetic Sharks – (sometimes called the Crap Sharks). An occasional strip featuring a group of sharks, much feared, not for their ferocity, but their mind-numbingly boring and pathetic behaviour and conversational style. Instead of hunting for prey, they ask people on the beach for crisps, ice cream and toffee, except for one shark who claims to be "lactose intolerant". Generally the strip consists of some sort of shipwreck or holiday-by-the-seaside theme; the initial apprehension at the sighting of shark fins turns into abject horror: "Oh no! Crap sharks!". In one strip a group of WWII shipwreck survivors blow themselves up with a hand grenade rather than face the Crap Sharks. "Crap Sharks" is a pun on the slang expression for a professional gambler specialising in the game of craps.
- Paul Whicker, the tall vicar – A deliberately crudely-drawn cartoon of a misanthropic vicar.
- Playtime Fontayne – a middle aged bank manager who behaves like a primary school aged child. He made his first appearance in the comic along with his opposite "Little Old Man", a more short - lived character of a young boy who acts like the stereotype of an elderly man
- Pop Shot - Real name: Gerald. A man, who is almost always naked; sporting a stereotypical 1970s pornstar moustache, afro and chest hair, who always finds himself accidentally slipping into the language of a porn film while performing everyday activities, much to the annoyance of his wife. The strip always ends with his wife spontaneously having sex with a complete stranger, with Gerald left out of the proceedings.
- Posh Street Kids – A parody of The Bash Street Kids from The Beano. In this one off strip, these schoolkids annoy their teacher by leaving their butlers lying about in the playground, smoking high-priced Cuban cigars behind the bike shed and having food fights in the canteen with caviar, strawberries and champagne. In the end, they do get dealt with, but they craftily prevent painful canings on their backsides by slipping thick literary works of art "worth thysands of pynds" down the backs of their trousers, though the teacher seems not to notice the extra padding as he administers their punishment.
- Postman Plod "The Miserable Bastard" – a mean-spirited postman with a serious attitude problem and a highly questionable work ethic.
- Professor Fuck – The weekly professor who answers awful questions submitted by readers.
- Professor Piehead – an inventor of amazing inventions which always go wrong and normally kill the Professor or his lab assistant, Tim (whom the Professor always addresses as Joe, for unknown reasons of his own).
- Quentin Hoylett - he has to go to the toilet finds himself saving a desperate situation - eg landing a jumbo jet after the flight crew fall unconscious - only to abandon the effort at the last moment in order to visit the lavatory.'Excuse me, I must go to the toilet'.
- Raffles, Gentleman Thug – a late 19th century aristocrat who behaves like a stereotypical 21st century thug.
- Randall and Diana (Deceased) – a controversial one - off parody of Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased) with Diana, Princess of Wales taking the place of Hopkirk to become "the people's ghost private detective." She and Randall investigate the claims of a man who believes his wife is having an affair, only to discover that the woman is in fact selling land mines to Africa; at which Diana promises "Dead or alive, I'm determined to put a stop to it." Naturally, the strip attracted a huge number of complaints.
- Rat Boy – a pre-teen repeat offender and drug addict, characterised by a permanent "tail" of excrement protruding from his backside - his every strip involves burglary, vandalism, assault and/or substance abuse, with minimal reprisals by the police. He is the brother of Tasha Slappa.
- Ravy Davey Gravy – a young man who breaks out into strange dances whenever he hears any kind of repetitive everyday noises, including car alarms and road drills. His name probably derives from Wavy Gravy.
- Real Ale Twats – three rather pompous men who speak in an affected style and only drink real ale, even going so far as to keep extensive "reviews" of all the real ales that they have supped. Also known to criticise lager drinkers. A parody of the Campaign for Real Ale (CAMRA).
- Reverend Milo's Lino Rhino – a vicar who travels around on a rhinoceros distributing rolls of linoleum and 'converting' carpet users.
- Roswell Stiles and his intriging X files a one of strip centered on a character named Roswell who wears glasses and carries a Cabinet of X files and attempts to search for phenomenoms such as falling fish, human conbustions, crop circles, UFOs, big cats etc. but has no success such as mistaking a kitten standing next to a Bonsai tree for a big cat winding up in the seals enclosure at the zoo and many others and when he attempts to fake a ufo sighting by throwing an old car wheel trim into the air it smashes another mans green house who shoves the filing cabinet up his arse.
- Reverend Ramsden's Ringpiece Cathedral – a vicar with a life-sized church up his bottom.
- Robot Nun (She's Got Tommy-Gun Tits!) - Bursts into a service being held in a church in outer space, and massacres the congregation with automatic weapons firing through her nipples.
- Rod Hull and Emo - A one-off strip parodying Rod Hull and Emu, in which Emu becomes Emo, a stereotypically maudlin emo fan.
- Roger Irrelevant ("He's Completely Hatstand") – a young man with a very strange mental problem where he continually produces irrelevant and surreal streams of language and behaviour.
- Roger Mellie ("The Man on the Telly") – a foul-mouthed and violent TV presenter, whose activities satirise real TV shows and incidents. Starred in a spinoff cartoon, voiced by Peter Cook.
- Roger the Lodger a parody of the Beano character Roger the dodger
- The adventures of Rolf Harris the cat A one-off strip which features a Scottish Rolf Harris in feline form attempting to deliver a package and avoid water based hazards only to find the package was a divers watch
- Rotating Chin Men A gang of flying villains with jetpacks whose intention is to spoil Queen Elizabeth II's coronation by spurting semen onto her via a pump squeeze mechanism linked to their revolving chins. Paraphrased quote by the Archbishop of Canterbury: 'I can't crown a queen with all jizz matted in her hair, it would be most unconstitutional'. The villains are foiled by the two child heroes who hook one of the villain's rotating chin with the archbishop's crook, causing the mechanism to overheat and 'dribble jissolm all down his chin'.
- Roy Schneider - Joy Rider A 14 year-old perpetual truant yob whose attempts to cause trouble in his community usually end up with him looking somewhat ridiculous. For example, he twocs a car, looks in the rear view mirror, and expresses delight that the police are chasing him already; in the next frame it is revealed that both Roy's car and the "pursuing" police car are models on a fairground ride, from which Roy is summarily ejected by the operator.
- Rude Kid – one frame strip where a young boy answers the most polite request with a rude word or phrase. This comic actually predates Viz, featuring in some of the proto-Viz fanzines created by Donald in the 1970s
- Sam, Son of Man – a young boy who believes himself to be the second (or third) coming and moves in a mysterious way
- Scottie Trotter and his Tottie Allotment – A boy with a portable miniature garden with several scantily-clad women on it.
- Sheridan Poorly – A man convinced that he is terminally ill, even though he is constantly being told by doctors that there is nothing wrong with him.
- Sherlock Homeless – A homeless parody of Sherlock Holmes. who solves crimes for the reward money - which is inevitably spent on Tennents Super.
- Sherlock Homo – an outrageously gay version of Sherlock Holmes. Despite evidence to the contrary evidence, he has well-built men stopped and searched using a ruse to investigate their backsides sighing "some day my prince will come".
- Shirker Bee – A worker bee within a hive who is unusually lazy, feigning illness and quoting bizarre contractual regulations to get out of doing his job.
- Sid the Sexist – a young man with no sexual experience who boasts of his success with women. His distinct lack of tact or any social graces do not help him in his quest to 'pull' women. Starred in a spinoff cartoon
- Simon Lotion, Time and Motion man – a hopeless male parent who insists his family reorganise every mundane household and leisure activity to fit his "professional", pedantic view of how the world should be run more efficiently. This always results in the complete failure of the proposed activity to meet any kind of performance or time constraint, with pathetic yet humorous consequences.
- Simon's Snowman – Occasional strip which featured in some Christmas issues during the 1990s. A parody of The Snowman, in which a violent, foul-mouthed snowman takes a young boy on a drinking and gambling spree
- Sir Edmund Hilarity – a mountaineer who continually endangers the lives of his team by playing inappropriate practical jokes on them during an expedition to climb Everest. The team die when a sherpa unwittingly lights up one of Hilarity's joke exploding cigars, causing a fatal avalanche. Hilarity's camera is discovered fifty years later by modern day climbers, who develop the film to discover that Hilarity did not take any pictures of the trip, and instead used the entire roll of film to take pictures of himself at Base Camp with his teammates' toothbrushes inserted in his bottom.
- Sir Fred Goodwin the Fat Cat – the former governor of the Royal Bank of Scotland Sir Fred Goodwin parodied as an overweight feline forced to catch mice in order to earn his pension.
- Skinheed – An early comic strip showing a young man with social problems turning into an inhuman monster.
- Spawny Get – a boy whose initial apparent bad luck turns into incredible fortune
- Specky Twat – a boy who suffers bad vision, and wears thick glasses. He often mistakes things for something else.
- Spoilt Bastard – a fat, ungrateful and vicious-tongued boy who manipulates his weak-willed mother into satisfying his hollow and selfish desires, usually with serious health-threatening consequences for her. The character is similar to a comic strip which appeared in Monster Fun and later Buster called Mummy's Boy.
- Stag Knight – a one-off strip of a buck's night/stag night in the time of King Arthur/Camelot. Strip shows, late night kebab shops and a barroom brawl is presented in Ye Olde English.
- Stan the Statistician – a nerd who tells everybody the probability of every event.
- Student Grant – an upper middle-class student at Fulchester (or sometimes Spunkbridge) University, who is determined to be fashionably "right on" and a left-wing radical, though when things go wrong, it's always his "bourgeois" rich parents that bail him out.
- Suicidal Syd – a manically depressed young man who makes various unsuccessful attempts to kill himself. He usually cheers up near end of the strip, only to die in a freak accident immediately afterwards.
- S.W.A.N.T – a crack paramilitary police team with "Special Weapons and No Tactics" which parodies American SWAT teams
T - Z
- Tasha Slappa – originally Kappa Slappa, after the sportswear brand, but changed on "legal advice", a teenage girl who follows a stereotypical "chav" lifestyle, and lives at home with her irresponsible mother and countless siblings, all from different (and unknown) fathers. Her main pursuits involve maximising her income from the state benefits system (for her own use) and shoplifting.
- Tom and Gerry a one off strip that's a parody of Tom & Jerry a classic children's cartoon but the only real difference is Jerrys name spelt with a G instead of a J the strip is centered on Tom finally catching Jerry whose reply is Got the Basstard
- Thieving Gypsy Bastards – Infamous one-off strip about Irish travellers, "Mc O'Dougles", who descend on a middle-class front garden, steal and vandalise everything in sight, with the approval of the local council (even taking a pet dog's testicles!) before moving on. On the next page there was a three-panel "compensatory" strip entitled The Nice, Honest Gypsies. It involved an old Romany woman giving change back to a home owner who had been overcharged for some clothes pegs. An end note adding that in next month's strip The Good Honest Gypsies would be renewing the car tax on their big American car. Both strips caused uproar from race relation groups in the UK. The publishers were accused of promoting prejudice and hatred against an ethnic minority. Following involvement by the UK's Commission for Racial Equality, the British Romany Council and even receiving a reprimand from the United Nations,[1] the next issue of Viz contained a 'cut-out-and-keep' apology; subtitled "what every gypsy's been waiting for!"
- Telly Evangelist – A Roman Catholic priest, Father O'Brien, who is addicted to television. Whenever he isn't watching television he is talking about it (often doing both at the same time).
- Terry Fuckwitt – "The unintelligent cartoon character"; an extremely dim-witted boy.
- Tex Wade – "Frontier Accountant"; cowboy desperado and financial auditor who shoots dead anyone who crosses his path (and fails to balance their books properly).
- The Human League (In Outer Space) – a strip featuring the 1980s pop band and their adventures in outer space.
- The Things – Bizarre aliens that were contrived into situations whereby the human participants could say things like "These things... (situation)..."
- Thoughtful Bully – A high school student who can present a good case to his teacher why he should be allowed to bully his classmates.
- The Mcbrowntrouts – strip centred around a Scottish family and their toilet humour antics. A parody of the real comic strip The Broons.
- The Vibrating Bum-faced Goats – an influential one-off strip where two schoolchildren from the city go to stay with their grandfather in the countryside. The grandfather owns a herd of petrol-driven mechanical goats with buttocks in place of faces- referred to in the strip as robotic rump-resembling ruminants.
- Timothy Potter - Trainspotter – Went round taking video of trains with his camcorder, in particular British Rail Class 37 locomotives, then had "one off the wrist" whilst playing back the videos on the telly. Often portrayed as being very short sighted (for example he mistook a set of golf clubs for his brother).
- Tina's Tits – A schoolgirl with unreasonably large bosoms. She is convinced that they possess magical powers, when they clearly do not.
- Tinribs – a badly constructed "robot". Based on the D. C. Thompson character Brassneck.
- Toast Kid – a child who attempts to solve problems using toast.
- Tommy "Banana" Johnson – an influential early strip since reprinted in different formats such as a '12" remix' and an 'on ice' version
- Tommy Salter - Chemical Capers – A young boy obsessed with performing bizarre experiments (such as forcing his sister to smoke asbestos cigarettes) with a total disregard for safety. His name comes from the Thomas Salter range of chemistry sets popular during the 1970s and 1980s.
- Tranny Magnet – a short, balding middle-aged bachelor who is irresistibly attractive to transsexuals and cross-dressers, although he desperately wants to find a real woman. (The title is pun on the expression "Fanny Magnet" meaning variously something which will supposedly make a man highly attractive to women, or, a man who imagines himself to be so).
- Victorian Dad – a father who applies strict Victorian values to himself and his family, even though they are living in the present. This also appeared during the Back to Basics campaign, and could be seen as a satirical commentary on it
- Victor Pratt, the Stupid Twat – A top hat wearing twat, who makes poor puns to his friend on a motorcycle
- Wacky Racists – a parody of the Hanna-Barbera cartoon television series Wacky Races, featuring a number of far right personalities including Adolf Hitler, Eugène Terre'Blanche, Unity Mitford (akin to Penelope Pitstop), the Ku Klux Klan and David Irving with his companion mutt Mosley (akin to Dick Dastardly and Muttley). Vehicles included the "Mein Kampfervan".[2]
- Wanker Watson – a parody of the Winker Watson strip from The Dandy, set in a boys boarding school, following the antics of Watson and his friends, and their hapless nemesis, Mr Creep. This strip prompted litigation by Dandy owners, D. C. Thomson & Co. Ltd.
- William's Pissed Wellingtons – a young boy and his alcoholic wellington boots. The name is a pun on the UK children's TV cartoon series William's Wish Wellingtons.
- Whinging Pom – a stuffy, homesick English expatriate who unfavourably compares everything he experiences in Australia, including a beating meted out to him.
- Yankee Dougal – an English kid who thinks he is American.
- Young Stan, Son of Man. – A young boy who blesses his family, says 'verily' a lot, blesses the bread at breakfast, and moves (i.e., walks) in a mysterious way. An irritation to his mother.
- Zip o' Lightning – a strip about a young boy who believes he has an alien friend, who is actually a robber with a bucket on his head.
References